Lean On Me

Posted on Fri Sep 22nd, 2023 @ 3:20pm by Cadet Senior Grade Riaothren(Ren) ch'Shaorhs & Cadet Senior Grade David "Dave" Holloway

2,790 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: **ARCHIVED** 0 - Assignment Day
Location: Starfleet Academy Dave's room
Timeline: Immediately following breaking up.

Ren had walked back from Harvey's. It would have been so much easier to have taken a hover cab or even the transporter and would have been far quicker. But the Andorian wasn't in the mood for easy. He needed to clear his head. He was in pain as he walked, not physical pain, but emotional, and didn't want to go to the Academy the way he was.

In the morning, he'd already planned on skipping class, he would go in and see Noxi. Maybe she could help. But he didn't want anyone to know.

It took him a good ninety minutes to get back to school. As he walked he'd come to the conclusion that he needed to talk to someone that night. There was only one person he knew that he could go to at 2330. Dave Holloway. Dave who Ren was positive was straight, was a good friend. Someone he could trust. Someone who wouldn't judge him and someone he knew would be a good listener.

He made it to the other cadet's room and pressed the chime.

When the chime rang Dave was just shutting down his personal HoloDeck sim. He had just saved the ship with his quick thinking, of course, the AI was there to chide him about his leadership and interpersonal skills but it mattered not the simulation ended in a success. He pulled up the screen to look who had come to visit at such hours, he certainly hadn't invited anyone and not most came to visit him, but he saw Ren on the screen outside his door, and he skipped up on his chair. Ren, why would he be here!? And at this hour? His mind began racing.

Quickly he changed out of his tank top into a shirt before opening the door. "Ren... what brings you here?" As he watched Ren it became clear something was wrong, "You want to come inside?" Even those words were hard for him to speak... not many had seen his room. He didn't like it, but this was Ren... maybe it would be right.

Ren, unlike his new companion, was an extrovert. Not quite a social butterfly but close. He almost always had a smile. But he wasn't smiling when he walked in He moved past Dave, almost like he didn't see him, and his shoulders were slumped, his antennae barely twitching at all.

"I. Just. Got. Dumped."

"You got dumped? Jason? How... How come?" Dave was a little confused, he didn't expect that to happen not with just months away from their first assignments. And there were even talks of a big dance or party coming up. He wasn't expecting anything like this.

Ren sat on the edge of Dave's bed without an invitation.

"Yes, Jason," he replied after a pause that seemed to him to be five minutes but was in reality about thirty seconds. "I loved him, Dave. I do love him. I just, it just hurts so much right now."


Dave didn't know what to do, or how to help, he was like a lost lamb out here. This is not something he had learned in any academy or any book. "I... What happened?" He asked again as he got to his feet to get him a glass of hot water. He was half minded to just ask his personal AI for some advice but even he felt something wrong with that.

Ren closed his eyes when he spoke, perhaps reliving what had happened earlier that evening, perhaps trying to block it out of his mind. "It's because of his royalty bullshit. He needs to produce a male heir. Obviously, that's not going to happen with us, especially since he is usually the... Well, let's just leave it at we could never have kids."

"Well that was obvious, I mean...." He was about to speak more but seeing Ren he realised it was the last thing he wanted to talk about. He cleared his throat as he held out a glass of water towards Ren. Maybe he wasn't right for you. - He thought to himself but he couldn't speak the words out loud. "What can I do for you?" He asked in earnest taking a seat next to Ren.

Ren took the water and drank half of it in one gulp. "I don't know, I just need someone to talk to, who I trust, who I know isn't going to judge me."

"He's not a bad person. I mean it's not like he cheated on me or anything. He's doing what he thinks is the right thing. Fulfilling his duty. I guess I shouldn't expect him to give all that up for me, but I did."

"It's just when my family told me they didn't mind me being gay, they just wanted me to help make a kid. I know I'm not royalty like he is, but, as I was so often reminded my race is dying out."

"But I couldn't pretend to be something I'm not, or just bring a new life into the world and not be around to take care of them,to be a parent to them. But Jason made the opposite choice."

Dave listened intently to Ren as he spoke, he was at a loss for words, he never had faced anything like this and no one had told him how to deal with this. All he could do was listen as Ren poured his heart out. He came to terms with it, Ren was facing the same insecurities that Daven himself faced when talking to Ren, what if he wasn't accepted, what if Ren didn't want to do anything with him, these thoughts always plagued him. "I don't know what to say..." Dave gulped, as he mustered enough courage to speak up, "Royalties always put their own needs forward. Maybe you thought Jason was different but maybe he was just another royal."

"You're right, he isn't any different. He is just a royal. He can't help himself."

"I just want someone to love me, and I thought it was him. He was my first serious relationship since I left home. And now that's gone. And he has the balls to tell me it's better for both of us."

"I...I get it." Dave swallowed as he spoke, "I am here if you need anything" That was the best Dave could offer at the moment. "Among us humans, there is a saying - 'Everything that happens happens for the best'. I mean maybe Jason wasn't meant for you, there would be someone better coming in your life."

"Maybe," Ren admitted. "But, I've found too many of you humans have a nice shoes let's fuck mentality and I want something more than that. You know what I mean? I want a relationship. I want someone I can trust, and after Jason, I don't know if I can trust any guy ever again."

"Not all humans are like that you know." Is what Dave said but what he really wanted to say was - 'I'm not like that at all' - If only he had the courage to speak it out loud. "I know what you mean, the universe is Vast, like literally, there would be many others you still have to meet and who knows you might meet someone even better." Like me.

There was a long pause, where the Andorian said nothing and sat virtually motionless. "Maybe you're right," he said at last. But right now there is a large Jason-like hole in the center of my chest and I don't know how to make the pain go away."

As Ren sat in silence so did Dave, that was the only thing he could do at the moment. He had no idea the pain Ren was going through, "We humans also have another tendency. We get intoxicated to drown out pain and sorrow. Usually alcohol, would you like some?"

For the first time since he entered Dave's room, he smiled. It was a small smile, but it was a smile. "Yeah, I'd like that. Large amounts of it. I'm not picky. What do you have?"

"I have a good stock of spirits from home. Rum, Vodka... Gin and Tequila if you want something even stronger... Pick your poison."

"Gin works for me," Ren said, "You have anything to mix it with, or are going to drink it straight? You are going to drink with me, aren't you?"

"Gin it is." Dave gave a nod as he moved to his cabinet and slid the door open, pulling out two glasses as a bottle of gin, "I can join you yes, but I don't drink much." Not to mention the last time Dave was drinking, it had caused him to craft a mini drone that would explode, only he had forgotten to add a targeting module and it had burst in his hand, it was great to sober him down, and glad that he didn't build a bigger payload. What would an engineer be without his finger...

"I don't have a mixer... I don't the cafe would be open this late either... we have some water if you want." He spoke as he started pouring a shot for each of them.

If Ren could have been privy to Dave's inner thoughts the amusement might have lifted his spirits if only a little. Since he was not he would just have to rely on the booze to do so. Or at the very least drown his negative thoughts

"No, I'm good," he said, "I don't need water" He took the shot Dave had just poured in one quick swallow and sat his glass down in front of his friend.

Dave stared as Ren downed the shot before he could even put down the bottle of booze, he looked at him a little bewildered as he poured out another shot and placed the bottle down. "You sure you don't need any mixer in it... you take too much too fast, and well things don't always end up good you know." he picked up his glass and raised it waiting for Ren to do the same before he took down the shot.

"I'm very sure, I don't want a mixer. But, I will slow down. But I mean, how much worse could it be if I didn't?"

He took his newly filled glass, looking Dave in the eyes as he did so. This time when he tipped the glass, he sipped from it.

Dave tipped it in return, a sort of cheers before draining it as well. "I don't think you would want to know..." In his experience anyone who had said how much worse could it get It got worse...

He shook his head as the gin hit his throat, he took a moment to gather himself, it was clear he wasn't experienced with booze or alcohol, not the hard liquors at the very least. "What did you even see in Jason... Like I mean I get he is royalty, but what else?"

Ren shrugged his shoulders. "I guess the fact that he was approachable. It kind of started when we were sophomores and he helped me with xenobiology. I was struggling to keep up and barely hanging on. I bombed the mid-term. I bitched to him about it and he stepped in to help me. We kind of started off as friends."

Ren finished the rest of his drink and slid the glass toward Dave for a third.

Dave poured the third shot for him and the second one for himself as well. "I mean that's all just normal, it could have been anyone. Could have been myself. Would we have ended up like this if you had asked my help instead of his?" Then again there was a difference between Dave and Jason, he was not a royalty and certainly not easily approachable either.

Ren cocked his head looking over at Dave. His antennae twitching back and forth. He straightened his head so he could take a drink. He'd have to slow down before he regretted it.

"Well, Jason is gay. And he's a prick. You're neither. I'm not sure where we would have wound up if I'd asked you instead."

"Maybe someplace better...." He whispered lowly to himself as he took down another shot, "But you never asked me... but you went ahead and asked Jason anyways." Dave didn't realise his thoughts had started to come out loud now.

"I guess he just seemed like the logical choice, "the Andorian replied. "I mean biology was his... Wait what did you just say?"

"What? What did I say?" Dave suddenly started to feel all too conscious about himself as Ren spoke. Suddenly flustered and his way out was downing another shot of gin and pushed the filled shot towards Ren.

Ren was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, he knew that. What he didn't know was if he'd just heard what he thought he'd heard, if he had heard correctly, but drawn the wrong conclusion. He was going to ask Dave for clarification, but put that notion on hold as he took another drink.

Dave was now more careful with his words he couldn't let such thoughts escape him again, "Right... so you were saying Jason is a prick..." He diverted the topic back to Ren, it would be much better for him to talk and let out his pain, than for Dave to talk and mess up everything.

"Yeah, he is. Okay maybe not on purpose. I don't think of him like that. It's just, I don't know, he throws what we have away to please his family."

"So, if he had considered you as family as well then it wouldn't have come to this tonight," That was a logical conclusion for Dave to pull, and his socially lacking mind couldn't perceive the inflammatory statement he had just made. "But then don't all Royals are like that? Image before anything else, like how many happy families are there among royals..."

"You're right. It wouldn't have come to this. I mean he didn't even consult me. He just made his decision. I don't know about all Royals, he's the only Royal that I know. Maybe he's putting his world first, I don't know but it still feels like hell."

"I think I understand..." Did he? Maybe maybe not... but the alcohol certainly was making him feel things. He poured out another round of shots for both as he looked at Ren, it tugged at his heart seeing him like this, but why? Why was he feeling the discomfort when it was Ren going through the breakup, it was he who was feeling the heartache, not Dave. "Who knows maybe his parents forced him or something... But I know Royals to be stubborn and selfish... he could have fought for you if he wanted to."

"And that's what hurts, right here," Ren said pointing to his heart. "I understand why did what he did, but I still feel betrayed."

"I think it is the nature of such a situation..." Dave took another shot, if he was to talk he needed his drinks. "It's a shame... but like I said, maybe it's for the best... maybe you will find someone better down the line." He patted Ren's shoulder, that's what books had taught him, comfort a sad friend with a touch on the shoulder. "Do you want to crash here tonight? I can set up the couch for you"

Ren had lost count of the shots he'd downed, but it had to be upwards of seven or eight. "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. I'm not in shape to be wandering around."

"Yes, that is a good idea. Of course, it is, I gave the idea." Dave smirked as he got to his feet, a little excited, but getting to his feet so fast, the alcohol rushed to his brain as just for a moment he felt the rush and got dizzy. Taking a moment to control himself he went over to the couch, "I'll... I have an extra blanket and cushions... I will get them."

"Thanks, you need any help finding your stuff?"

"No No, I got it... it's just in... hic... in the cupboard." Dave rushed over to get the bedding. "Here you go..." He held out the blanket and pillow to Ren. "Make yourself... comfortable."

Ren took both, then after a final shot, just for good measure, he put both items Dave had given him, then promptly fell asleep on top of them, fully clothed.

 

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