Security Clearance for a Clown
Posted on Tue Oct 3rd, 2023 @ 10:11am by Cadet Sophomore Grade Dane Pines
Edited on on Tue Oct 3rd, 2023 @ 10:12am
1,717 words; about a 9 minute read
Mission:
**ARCHIVED** 0 - Assignment Day
Location: Fleet Operations Center, San Francisco, Earth, Sol Sector.
Timeline: 3 months Prior to MD Start
Nearly deafening the room, the SLAM of a Lurian first on the round table broke through the heated argument. Heavy jowls on the face of the fierce female sending spittle flying as she violently stood and pointed at the hologram in the middle of the table. Bellowing as though the flowing sequences of information could hear their displeasure.
"It's bad enough we have one! Why are they BOTH interested in Starfleet, Vice Admiral!? I've been saying since I was BRIEFED on this subject that it felt off! Now we-"
"Now we're in conflict with them, yes, Captain Ogmaq. We've your comments all on file, and reviewed them extensively."
Vice Admiral Mal, a Denobulan male with a particular patient and cherubic expression, made a visual sweep of the table. Regarding each member present of the 12 and each of them nodding, assuaging the Captain's fears. Maybe just for now, but it was enough to continue.
"Thank you, Captain. Now, we should refocus. Cadet Sophomore Grade Dane Pines, and his application. I realize that we must have all been excited to voice our thoughts. As we were two short years ago when many of us had the same conversation," the Vice Admiral started. His mantle taken up by a human off to the side, just barely a Lieutenant commander.
"I'm of the party that agree we should assign him to security. This gives us a good base on which to compare and collect data with that of the Chief of Security under Sisko. We can gather better points of behavior and habit, for detection purposes."
There's a good half the table that nods along with the vocal newcomer. Vice Admiral nodding appreciatively before returning their gaze to Captain Ogmaq, prompting them to state their case. All at the table able to clearly see it was about to BURST out the seams in another explosion.
"Yes, and I object this! The psychological profiles are completely different! I'll point everyone to incident report SFA-23690912-22!" they called, swiping on their PADD to send the information to the center holographic display. "This changeling willfully and with FULL knowledge 'pranked' one of the administrators of his secondary school! Having her doubt her mental health! Watch!"
Another tap, and the incident played out in full video for the table. Secretary sat at a table with the entrance to the room in full view. Old style building, with a hinged door. Another human male, adult, in a suit, knocked on the door frame and waved a polite greeting. Simply a wave and a few hurried hellos as they stepped in and made their way past the desk. Revealing a stream of students behind the figure.
Before the exact same person showed up again, and repeated the process. The secretary immediately doing a double take back to where the man had originally left to, the woman confused as the male made their way past again. The process repeats several times, until the secretary seems to fully lose patience and stride out from behind her desk. Dane Pines, then only 15, suddenly appearing in place of the adult after a short liquid-like transformation. Running from the office. Causing the secretary to just put her hand to her head in exasperation. The video ending as she returned to work, showing only a freeze frame of the delighted face of the running Dane.
"You see! He fully enjoys the act of trickery! Like a natural instinct. It's no different than your people's vaunted patience, Vice Admiral, or your species' adaptability, Lieutenant commander!"
There's another small outbreak of arguments at the table. Some defending Dane for simply being a child enjoying his youth, others claiming he was much older and they couldn't even date his genetics in testing. Before the Vice Admiral raised his hand to quiet the spreading murmurs.
"There, there. Captain, the prank was indeed harmless. And we have noted his fondness for using his powers. But I'll give you back your own words, have you read his psychological profile? 'Adapts poorly to loneliness'? 'Seeks attention to assuage guilt and anxiety due to his species'? I believe, but would have to double check, that he is quite friendly with this administrator."
Another round of murmurs as the Lurian Captain gawped her jaw like an gilled creature out of water. But the Vice Admiral continued.
"But a fool cannot keep a position like mine in Starfleet Security without vigilance. I've heard all sides, and agree partly with Captain Ogmaq. Cadet Sophomore Grade Dane Pines will not be ejected from Starfleet Academy, nor will he be forced into a security position. We shall test his resilience under the guise of following his Major, and assign him as Cadet Morale Officer for the USS Stardancer."
There's a chorus of groans, most out of pity. Others out of disappointment. But the Vice admiral simply sits with an assured smile on his face.
Even some whispers that Captain Stark was going to eat him alive.
------
Set in a private room of the Operations Center, Dane was sat doodling on his personal PADD. Waiting three hours now, but it wasn't something he was unused to. Security and lab offices always told him just a matter of minutes that turned into matters of hours. People were busy.
But the sliding of the door behind him set his whole body on edge, quickly standing and putting his PADD face down to try and maintain decorum. Turning to face whoever stepped in, trying to be respectful and keep expectations. Only to regard what looked like an incredibly overworked human woman angry at everything. Starfleet uniform under a lab coat, several PADDs under one arm. All of which she laid on the table as she took her seat. Seeming relieved at the comfort of the chair.
"Hello, Cadet Pines. Sit. I'm skipping pleasantries, we're on a tight schedule," she started. Quickly tapping at a console popped out from the table and putting an earpiece in. Silent for a moment or two as the changeling sat and folded his hands. Desperately trying not to fidget as...well, if he had a heart it'd be racing.
All until a small trilling sound from the console confirmed a connection, and the officer nodded.
"Hello Captain Stark. Just as the new protocol in testing, you are not seen nor heard. I'm Commander Morrison. Cadet Pines is here, as well. You'll be listening to our interview, and you are free to interject at any time, Ma'am."
Practices, a speech that droned out the mouth like they had written it down and had to rewrite it a million times because of some bureaucratic structure. Dane sitting up and waiting as the process began.
"Cadet Pines, just answer my questions. What are your thoughts on Starfleet? Keep the answer short, I know it's general."
General was right!
"Uhm! It's Starfleet. It's the force under the Federation that mobilizes ships for defense and exploration. I don't really have any deep thoughts on-"
"Noted. Moving on. Describe why you joined Starfleet, not the civilian sector or a science institution."
"Oh! I uhm...at first I knew Starfleet would help me travel and expand my horizons! And that it'd get me a lot of respect to serve. But once the wormhole was discovered, I felt I had to. Or else people would never trust me."
There was a moment where the worker put her hand up to the earpiece. Nodding lightly. Before returning her hand to write something down.
"Would you say you were and are using Starfleet simply for your own goals, not to do your part for the Federation?"
"No! I mean-...I don't feel that way? You could ask the same of everyone, couldn't you?"
There were more questions, going down an exhaustive list that was only added to by the Captain on the other end of the phone. Nothing Dane hadn't been asked or prodded with a hundred times before. Before the questions started to pivot from safety to qualifications.
"It says here you've been studying certain things privately, with your off days and while you're awake and others are not in the solar cycle. Can you explain your interest in..." the woman paused to scroll to the list. "'Traditional Dances of Earth', 'Sketching of live models', 'Cooking for your spouse', 'Mediation as told by Vulcans to the patience limited', and 'Massage and joint expression'? You took all these private sector classes these past years."
Dane's face progressively got more sheepish as the list went on, shrinking back in his seat. Especially as the last one came up. All he could do for a moment was offer a small guilty smile. Dane should have KNOWN he'd be followed and kept tabs on.
"Y-Yeah, I can...I can explain. Most of them was because I've been aiming to be a ship Counselor! I thought coping strategies would useful. And others I thought would help if I was stationed as a Yeoman, that was on my list of potential goals."
"You thought Yeomen gave their superiors or counselors gave their crewmates massages, non-replicated meals, or danced with them."
Dane shrunk even more, wanting to fucking die at this point. Face red and chuckling nervously at himself.
"I...wanted to be prepared, ma'am."
There's a long pause, an unamused stare from the security officer. Until she puts fingers up to her ear and nods lightly, offering a quiet 'Yes, Captain'. Immediately turning to Dane.
"The Captain looks forward to ship dance nights, but wishes to remind you if you shirk your duties to fraternize, you'll be punished. Morale Officer or not."
There's a moment of guilty nodding, before the changeling realizes what's REALLY been said and quickly looks up in half disbelief. The Commander sliding a piece of paper across the table, and continuing speaking as he regards it.
"Liftoff is on that date. You will attend classes normally until then. Your post has been accepted, and you've been deemed an acceptable security risk. You'll be on your best behavior. Your standing orders pre-departure are to make yourself available to security and command at a moment's notice," the woman droned. Letting out a loud yawn and going back to the pile of PADDS she'd brought in. Taking out the earpiece.
"Now get out. I have work to do."
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